ACT 1, SCENE 1 A street in Venice RYUU: Tush, never tell me, I take it much unkindly That thou, Iago, who has had my purse As if the strings were thine shouldst know of this. TAROU: God's blood, man! You will never hear it of me. If I ever did but *dream* of such a matter I wouldst have thee abhor me. RYUU: You told me you held him in your hate! TAROU: And were he not, I would have thee hold me in thine. In personal suit, he did dare make me his servant, To respect him; and by the faith of a man - Be that man man or woman or between the two With but a splashing of the canals - I know for what I am bought, and I deserve scant better. I didst enquire of him most deeply, That I may know of what rank he had placed unto me, That, mayhap by rising in his favour I would If chance did favour me, rise beyond his faction Within the armies of this city I serve - And I serve only that I may be served, good Roderigo. RYUU: Who? TAROU, mugging: You not hear me? I say to THEE, GOOD _RODERIGO_. RYUU: Bu-Oh, yah. But thou servest to be served, Doest as thou would to be served, good Iago - I know you to be a good and honest man to those Who are within thine own faction. TAROU: God's blood, and who else would be in my faction but mine own self? RYUU: True, true. Yet merely being of selfishness indentured Would not suffice me to join with you - As I most foolishly did, filling your purse with mine - Is there yet a grander cause for you to hate the Manling? TAROU: Woulds thou restrain in thy discourse, that I may detail unto you. For though I languish under a sex-changeling, A man with apron strings, a bearded woman, Transgendered, feminine, man and woman, hermaphrodite, I yet desire his favour, that I may draw the attention Of only those worthier of power than he. For know this - not only do I demand power, But I hate Saotome. I hate him with all of my self. For lo, upon the chance that I may yet attain this rank, The position that would grant me the power to govern As only I would, It was snatched away from me and given to one other, One who similarly languishes under a curse. RYUU: I was of the knowledge that you and Saotome were unique. TAROU: That we are. But Hibiki is unique too, and all men are. RYUU: So be thou loyal to thyself, losing the potentia this rank Would have bestowed, you see fit to hate Saotome? Rank comes and goes and flows as do all. Opportunity will return - Why do you hate him so grandly as could I? TAROU: I have my reasons. Suffice to say, I was passed over, And in being forgotten, I was made to be as nothing. And lo, I despise Saotome for this, and reasons yet over. RYUU: Here is her house, yet the gates are shut. TAROU: No barriers to men such as we. Come, let us call unto her father That he may find of the crime and grant us device to exact That sweet, sweet justice we both desire upon that man Or woman that he may now call Son - or Daughter. [They jump up and stand on the fence] RYUU: What ho, Brabantio! Brabantio-dono! What ho! TAROU: Awake! What ho, Brabantio! Look to your daughters! Are they all as should be? Is one less than all a seemly number? [SOUN comes out and stands on the porch. He's wearing pajamas] SOUN: What is the reason of this terrible summons? What is the matter here? RYUU: Tendo-san - have you counted your daughters? TAROU: Are your doors locked and your lodgers accounted for? SOUN: Why?! Wherefore ask you this? TAROU: Dear god, man, you're robbed and ignorant to boot. Adding insult to injury of your home, A part of you has been spirited away. Even now, your daughter is coupling - And in manner unseemly with a woman! SOUN: Eh? Nabiki's in her bedro- TAROU, mugging again: _No_, I have means that a red bull is, As we speak, devouring what virtue your family has, In its youngest flower. Arise, I say! SOUN: Oh. You mean Akane. TAROU: Lo, yes, I mean Akane, Tendo, your daughter, forsooth! SOUN: With a WOMAN?! Wait- would you mean that Engendered guest of mine home, Ranma Saotome, beloved Warrior of Nerima? TAROU: Aye, the very same - your engendered guest is now, By law most primal, your transgendered son - or daughter, Were the rain and wind to howl that way. SOUN: Ah, shucks, oh well, got two others, [tries to suppress snicker and goes back inside.] TAROU: Eh? RYUU: Hey... the script- TAROU: Bah. Hm. Oh well... all else fails, Jealous Suitors time... I'll be back, Roderigo. You know who to tell. Wait for me at the Senate. [leaps into a canal and flies off] [End Scene 1] ACT 1, SCENE 2 Venice, Outside the Akai no Kasa TAROU: Though in my course of time, I have slain my share, I hold it a precept of myself that I do no murder. I lack the the very sin that would make me of some service. Had I the time, I would have fought him to his standstill And left him as a broken doll. RANMA: Nah... Ry-Roderigo doesn't deserve that. TAROU: Nay - he prated. RANMA: Whuh? TAROU, mugging: He spoke most vexingly to her father of you - Seeking to drive him into a rage most vexing Over that most simple and legal arrangement The arrangement that you and your bride did fight for. RANMA: Wh- oh, you mean Akane. Eh... well, he can yell all he wants, we're married now... no crazy fiancees are gunna change that. Hell, the only reason we didn't do it like Tendo-san wanted was because we figured that the others'd try bust it up. Besides - the Senate know what I've done, especially in China and stuff. Hey, I don't like to brag, but hell, they *know* I'm the best, and they know I'm a man of honour - I wouldn't lie about this kinda thing. TAROU, eyetwitching at Ranma's paraphrasing: I am sure this is known and true. But regardless, see the lights that come yonder? RANMA: Come wha? TAROU, eyetwitching more: See, someone is coming. You should hide yourself. RANMA: Hey, I don't run from NOBODY. I'm the best, and I'm right - why should I run? TAROU: Oh, of course - Ashura herself knows you to be honest. [Enter RYOUGA with OFFICERS with torches] RANMA: Hi, Ryouga - whassup? RYOUGA: The Duke does greet you, Saotome. However, we require your presence with all haste, And in the place of law and court. RANMA pauses, his lips moving and his face in thought. Then: Why? RYOUGA: As I hear it, China's borders teem yet once more, And the place of our common woe - there is some matter, A matter of heat. It has been seemed that there is a matter Afoot that only you would be required to solve. RANMA: Heh - good luck of you to find me then. Gimme a minute, and I'll be with you. [RANMA goes inside] RYOUGA blinks and glances at TAROU: Ancient - what makes he here? TAROU: It seems to me tonight he netted a home and owner. If he's owed it already then he's set for his living. RYOUGA: I don't follow. TAROU, eyetwitching again, then, tersely: He's married. RYOUGA: To who? TAROU: To none other than- Ah, captain - are you coming? RANMA: Yeah. RYOUGA: What ho? Another troop for your escort? [Enter COLOGNE and SHAMPOO with officers with lights and weapons] TAROU: About time. *ahem* It is the Senators - general be advised. They come for bad intent. RANMA: What's your problem this time, old ghoul? COLOGNE: Ah, I see, 'tis Muko-dono. SHAMPOO: Bring him! He too-too bad! TAROU facpalms while nobody's looking. Then: You, Senator Xian? We are countrymen - let us settle this as your kind would. RANMA: Hey, hey, calm down, guys... you'd paste her. I don't wanna see you hitting a girl anyway, Iago. Hey, old ghoul - you want something? You don't have to get Shampoo hurt to get my attention. SHAMPOO: Where stupid pervert girl? Where she hiding? RANMA: Whoah, whoah, chill... If we were supposed to be fighting here, I'd have beaten you all already. [Tarou, unseen, facepalms again as the two speeches are shot to pieces] Where's the right place to settle this? SHAMPOO: You be coming home, right now, husband - you be learning what Joketsozoku do to husband when angry. RANMA: Hey, I _ain't_ your husband, and I _ain't_ goin' ta China. Besides - Ryouga needs me to go check something out in the Senate. So... COLOGNE: I *AM* the Senate, boy. I'd know if the Senate needed me. RYOUGA: Deference to your age, Senators, but you were deemed liable for this session - the situation is of concern with your countrymen, and dealings had needs to be made with dispassion - facts were as yet unattained regarding to the nature of our foes. COLOGNE: Does the Senate think me unable to act with clear head and loyalties? TAROU, muttering: wouldn't surprise me... RYOUGA: That, and deference to your age, Senator. SHAMPOO: Shampoo Senator too! Says in script! TAROU facepalms RYOUGA: And... in deference to your wit, or so the Duchess said. SHAMPOO, darkly: Shampoo think Spatula Girl need learn manners... COLOGNE: Very well. If I am not needed in Senate, then I am not - but there remains the fact that we have a case that needs trying as we speak. And so, we go. Come, Shampoo - we must go unto the Senate and divine the fate of my would-be Son-in-law. [Exeunt, Tarou trailing, shaking his head sadly] ACT 1, SCENE 3 The Senate Chambers UKYOU: There is no compassion in these news That gives them credit. MOUSSE: Indeed - they are disproportioned. My best sources have informed me to a full three days. UKYOU: Yet mine inform me of a scant week. KUNOU: Yet, of my source... The word from those learning unto me state a full month. But though the times do not land unto their second, As 'tis oft happened in cases of distance great, They confirm yet unto us that direst of facts - The Phoenix is yet unto rising again, and his people stir. In their mouths are the ashes of revenge, And their blood boils with the name of our general. UKYOU: No - it is possible that yet all are false. I do not feel secure in trusting general error, But in the main truth and fact I approve, Though I fear regardless. [Flat pause] SAILOR: Er, what ho, what ho, what ho. All that. OFFICER: A message from the Galleys. UKYOU: What news? SAILOR: The Phoenix people do gather. Jusendo is left fallow, and the mountain shakes. 'Tis thought that the Phoenix himself may be yet arming, And brooding himself to full power under the mount. Thus was I sent to give thee report. UKYOU: This is most dire... we've yet no quarrel with these people, Yet revenge and honour may yet be of their form. MOUSSE: This cannot be. By any assay of fact We would first see the Phoenix rise afore we fight him. UKYOU: Would YOU face the wrath of a living sun, senator? [Enter TAROU, RANMA, RYOUGA, COLOGNE, SHAMPOO, OFFICERS, RYUU and A PARTRIDGE IN A PEAR TREE] UKYOU: Ranma - we have needs of your might. It may be the army of the Phoenix rises yet again. [to COLOGNE] I did not see you. Welcome, honoured Senator. I do apologise for waking you. COLOGNE: An apology would be better placed to having NOT waked me. I find it an affront to my wisdom of ages that I have Even after proving myself worthy to this council Still the position of an outsider. RANMA mutters something. COLOGNE: Be that as it may, my current quarrel is greater Yes, greater still, than the concern of the Phoenix, Or indeed of my relation to thee. UKYOU: What is the concern? COLOGNE: My great-granddaughter - and the daughter of Soun Tendo. UKYOU blushes: You mean- COLOGNE, muttering: This isn't a lemon, girl. UKYOU: Sorry. [coughs] COLOGNE: Regardless of circumstance, facts have come to light, That the lines of Saotome and Tendo may be joined And cemented with bonds more dishounourable Than the means that both yourself and my progeny have tried. .... I'll leave it hanging there. ;p I can't be bothered to prose the whole thing, so I'll just leave it at this. Suffice to say, the differences in persona actually allow for some very interesting interpretations, ne? Considering Tarou vs Ranma at the end... All of the characters in this work belong to Rumiko Takahashi, the plot belonds to William Shakespeare (or whoever owns the copyright by now), and anything that's left over and nobody wants I'll probably be blamed for. Feel free to provide feedback to talen_@optusnet.com.au. I don't think I've done anything flameworthy, but what hey. ^^;;