Knicknacks, Doodads, Widgets and Gizmos
Gnomes, the slogan goes, Aren't Just Iconic Technical Savants, or so say GAJITS. Regardless, it seems a trend amongst spellcasters of whatever race that it's often convenient to have a secret identiy, a gnome de plume, behind which they can hide when they create a new magical item.
After all, 'serious' wizards, like the great Archmages Fumblor or Arnemeas do not craft knick-knacks or toys. They forge weapons of enormous power, they craft weaponry of world-shaking importance... they do not engage in such frivolous activities as building a better mousetrap, unless the mouse in question is forty-five feet long and has a breath weapon of at least three different types of energy. They just don't take the time out to kick back and make themselves a magical ioun stone that sprinkles the air around them with a pleasant-smelling rosewater mixture and happens to keep their silk shirts pressed.
As such, it's a common thing to see truly asinine gnomish names being spread around by non-gnomes who appreciate being able to brag about their own particular knicknack - but not willing to attach their name to it for fear of stigma later in life.
And sometimes... some casters are just plain weird. Of particular note is Bingboddle Bit Wootibemf-Kroodle, who all-but led the charge for gnomish artificers to live up to their ridiculous reputation and proceeded to engage in constructive feats of the most ridiculous form.
Astel's Ensemble of Excessive Impressiveness: Few people could be as ostentatious as a rich gnomish wizard - and one of those few people was Astel Scaramouch. His actual race is lost to time, but conjecture actually has him as a troll, of all creatures.
Astel's Ensemble consists of four items, all of which work completely independently - it is merely their particularly renowned origin that has them grouped together.
Astel's Entourage of Effervescent Adulaters: Astel had two of these rings, and they seemed to function as a catalyst based on just how well-dressed the wearer is. When a ring is donned by a snappily (and excessively) dressed person, it produces exactly five feet behind the wearer a silent manservant who obeys the ring's wearer implicitly. Astel preferred a pair of snivelling toadies dressed as classic footmen, but only their typically ostentatious appearance is intrinsic to the magic. The toadies have the full capacity of an unseen servant, but are bound to the ground by the normal constraints of gravity. They are also able to mumble a generally positive response to any question that is put to them. They are themselves mindless - Astel just liked having people agree with him.
Caster level: 1st. Prerequisites: Craft Wondrous Item, Unseen Servant, Silent Image. Market Price: 4,600 gp; Weight: 1 lb.
Astel Scaramouch's Hat of Flounce: This fine-woven, ostentatious purple hat has a brim that is unpractically huge, and an enormous feather. Rendered after the headgear of the Prancing Dandy, Astel Scaramouch, this hat makes its wearer so very... mysterious...
Astel Scaramouch's Hat constantly shadows its wearer's face, making it impossible to discern what they look like beyond a few vague details. This can be overcome with the True Seeing spell. Furthermore, it confers a +5 competence bonus to bluff checks. Finally, whenever it is donned, it weaves a transmutation upon the wearer's clothes, fixing all nonmagical equipment they possess, as per the spell mending.
Caster level: 4th; Prerequisites: Craft Wondrous Item, Change Self, Light, Mending. Market Price: 3,000 gp; Weight: 1 lb.
Astel's Codpiece of Magnificence: Sages agree - the fewer questions asked about this device, the better. Its magical effects have been catalogued and its general design duplicated, but very, very few people ever want to talk about it.
When donned under the wearer's pants, this codpiece protects its wearer in no way whatsoever. However, it does affect the region as per a continual flame spell, and whenever the codpiece is pulled away to reveal the region of the body in question, the song of a choir of four people can be heard singing hymns of praise.
Caster level: 1st; Prerequisites: Craft Wondrous Item, Continual Flame, Ghost Sound, a vulgar attitude. Market Price: 1,320 gp; Weight: 2 lb.
Collar of Focus: Quite a valued tool amongst spellcasters, the collar of focus is a relatively cheap and useful item that helps focus one's thought processes to a more refined point. The practical effect is a +5 circumstance bonus to Concentration checks, but it has the handy side-effect of allowing one to more correctly remember passage of music, wordplay, or action, and confers a +5 competence bonus to Perform checks.
Caster level: 3rd. Prerequisites: Craft Wondrous Item, crafter must have 5 ranks in Concentration. Market Price: 1,000 gp; Weight: 1 lb.
Dillguff's Foghorn: Designed by the gnomish artificer Dilguff Funkleburm, the Foghorn was constructed to grant the gnome a bit more of an edge in combat, where firearms tended to have an easy time hitting him.
Dilguff's Foghorn is a stout ramshorn with stoppers on both ends. If the larger end is opened, the Foghorn releases a vast expanse of white fog centered on the location of the horn when it was opened, as the spell obscuring mist cast by a 1st-level wizard.
Furthermore, if both ends of the horn are opened, it can be used to blast out a clear note that makes the wielder of the horn easier to find. Dilguff primarily used this to confuse his opposition, since this note can come from anywhere in the mist.
Caster level: 1st; Prerequisites: Craft Wondrous Item, Obscuring Mist, Ghost Sound. Market Price: 3,400 gp; Weight: 7 lb.
Efthand's Scars: These elaborate designs of scars and tattoos were first designed and created by the wild half-orc druid Efthand. The scars must be burnt into the forearms and neck of the wearer, and any magical item worn over these scars will mute the effect of the item completely. Efthand used this power to bind to his will a common bat. Once the scars are rendered on the body, the wearer must find a bat that is of an appropriate disposition, and request its company. Fortunately, the scars constantly affect the wearer as if by a Speak With Animals spell, but it only works with bats. If the bat approves, the wearer may thereafter communicate with the bat freely.
Efthand's scars also have the ability to highlight a single opponent within 30 feet with ethereal foxfire light, identical in all other respects to the spell faerie fire. This can be used in conjunction with the bat's directions, which is the manner in which Efthand employed it.
Caster level: 1st. Prerequisites: Craft Wondrous Item, Animal Friendship, Speak With Animals, Faerie Fire. Market Price: 4,480 gp; Weight: -
Fuzzlewad Bingpopple's Padded Glove of Confusion: This overlarge glove is a bit of a quandary. It's large, padded, and has to be tied in place. In theory, one could use them to box adequately, though anyone employing them in a boxing match would probably have their capabilities muted, and, if the powers of the weapon took place, the wearer would be tossed out as a cheat.
Fuzzlewad's gloves affect any target struck as if by a random action spell if they fail a Will saving throw (DC 11), and a daze spell unless they succeed at another will save (DC 10).
Casting a spell with a somatic component while wearing the gloves is impossible, so even their potential use as a wizard's desperate combat tactic are a bit unclear. It's quite possible they're no more and no less than a joke.
Caster level: 1st; Prerequisites: Craft Wondrous Item, Random Action, Daze. Market Price: 2,800 gp; Weight: 1 lb.
Garb of the Singer: This intricate golden-filigree-encrusted ring, necklace and handflower fast became, after their initial design, popular garb amongst combat-savvy bards. The otherwise elaborately constructed accessory can confer, simultaneously, a +1 luck bonus to AC, a +1 natural armour bonus to AC, and a +1 deflection bonus to AC. These advantages, however, only last for one minute, and the wearer must sing in order to activate them, making a perform check against a DC of 15.
Caster level: 9th. Prerequisites: Craft Wondrous Item, Forge Ring, creator must have 10 or more ranks in Perform, mage armour. Market Price: 4,200 gp; Weight: 1 lb.
Gravemask: This mask is often used by sacred exorcists or other tomb-raiding characters who wish to avoid extended confrontations with mindless undead. The masks are large, and usually crafted from wood or bone, to resemble the skull of a large creature, such as a bull or lion. To be held in place, the mask needs to be held in place by a simple neck-brace that tends to neuter magical collars or amulets. When worn, the Gravemask constantly affects its wearer as per an invisibility to undead and a deathwatch spell.
Caster level: 1st; Prerequisites: Craft Wondrous Item, Invisibility To Undead, Deathwatch. Market Price: 4,000 gp; Weight: 1 lb.
Irongut: This foul-looking brew is most usually renowned for its strange appearance. Significantly, bottles of Irongut tend to have little things... floating in them. Not things like worms and othersuch bottle denizens, but bits of intestine and the odd fingernail. Irongut is in fact an alcohol made by maintaining a troll's body at such an incredible state of damage that it's actually liquid, and as such, is bloody expensive to make. Variants on Irongut utilising a spell that can duplicate the effects of the drink are cropping up, as people are a little leery of getting the stuff normally.
Irongut, when drunk, is never passed. Not ever. Instead, the drink forms a lining on the drinker's stomach, rendering all spoiled or rotten food and soiled waters effectively harmless, as the regenerative properties of the stomach lining process the food ferociously quickly. The effect is otherwise identical to a Purify Food and Water spell - but the food must be consumed before the effect kicks in. For this reason, Irongut is only popular amongst the truly stoic.
Caster level: 1st. Prerequisites: Craft Wondrous Item, Purify Food and Water. Market Price: 1,800 gp; Weight: - .
Leader's Brand: This tattoo must be placed on the wearer's forehead, and cannot be removed once it is. However, the brand marks its wearer as a true leader amongst men, and constantly affects all those within a 20-foot radius of the wearer as per a bless spell. The brand must be displayed proudly, so anything else worn as a headband or hat will obscure it and mute the magic, and any spell that obscures the mark render it completely inert.
Once a day, the wearer of the brand can, provided they are engaged in combat against a numerically superior force, inspire his allies to greater acts of martial arms, cowing their foes. This affect is identical to a prayer spell, cast by a 5th-level caster.
The brand is ultimately problematic to those not prone to announcing themselves, however - its sheer distinctiveness and tendency to highlight its wearer's personality confer a -10 competence penalty to its wearer's disguise and hide checks.
Caster level: 5th. Prerequisites: Craft Wondrous Item, Bless, Prayer, Eagle's Splendour. Market Price: 3,800 gp; Weight: -
Mulva Reginabear's Extra Eye: This ring, when donned, prompts its wearer to sprout an eye on the end of the finger that wears it. This eye is just as a normal eye, and can be used to peer around corners. Furthermore, if the eye is run over a passage of text, it can understand and interpret the text as per a comprehend languages spell.
Caster level: 1st; Prerequisites: Craft Wondrous Item, Comprehend Languages, Change Self. Market Price: 3,400 gp; Weight: 1 lb.
Spotflare: This Dull Grey Ioun Stone has had a Continual Flame spell cast on it, and a small polished silver cone wrapped around it. Furthermore, a cantrip has been imbued on the cone that ensures that the point of the cone always points away from the owner of the stone's line of sight. The practical upshot is a constant spotlight.
Caster level: 3rd; Prerequisites: Craft Wondrous Item, Continual Flame, Arcane Mark; Market Price: 485 gp. Weight: -
The Tanar'ri Apprentice: This pair of gauntlets only function for one of a Chaotic Evil alignment who has had prior contact and study of the Tanar'ri. Only to one steeped in the study of evil do these gloves hold any secret knowledge. To anyone else, they are just a pair of somewhat scraggy-looking gloves.
Once donned, the claws allow the wearer to cause fear (Will negates, DC 11) on any target they touch. Furthermore, when the character does battle against lawful creatures, they are protected as by the spell entropic shield.
Caster level: 1st; Prerequisites: Craft Wondrous Item, Cause Fear, Entropic Shield. Market Price: 4,600 gp; Weight: 1 lb.